Celebrity

Requiem for a shining star

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By now, everyone will know that Paul Walker died last Saturday in an horrific car crash.  At first, when I saw someone post about it, I assumed it was another of those ‘celeb dies’ hoaxes that we are all familiar with.  It was a shock to discover it was genuine.  I was surprised how shocked I was, as I’ve never really regarded myself particularly as a Walker fan, but it really knocked me sideways.

As usual, there is a mixture of emotions.  First there is sadness, but also anger and compassion for his soul.  I am angry for two main reasons.  Firstly, because someone who was so vibrantly alive and healthy was taken.  He had a good career and had none of the usual celebrity scandals that most others have.  He worked tirelessly for his charity Reach Out Worldwide and seemed like a genuinely nice guy.  I’m angry that someone like that should be taken when there are so many celebrities who lie, cheat, break the law and generally waste their lives away who are still here and being a complete nuisance.  I was also angry that Paul should die while being a passenger in the car.  Anyone with him as a passenger should realise the care that needs to be taken with such a valuable life?  The road was almost deserted, the weather was good, and Paul was not driving – you do the maths.  I was angry that someone killed Paul.  I was relieved to hear that there is a possibility that some kind of fluid leak just before the crash may have caused some kind of dangerous fault, and I hope this proves correct as I know myself well enough to know that I would find it hard not to apportion blame.  I now find out that he died from burning to death and not the impact, and that makes my heart cry for him.  Of all the possible ways to die, that has to be the worst and I hope with all of my heart that his soul recovers from that trauma.

There has been a huge outpouring of shock and grief at his passing, one of the biggest I’ve seen for any celebrity and that shows how far reaching Paul’s energy is.  Being a nice guy whilst also a celebrity really does make a difference.  It shows just how easy it is to touch someone’s life, even when you’ve never met them.  As a celebrity, you have immense power over people and it is so easy to abuse or ignore that power.  If someone is your fan, every word you say, everything you do and every opinion you express will be adopted as their own.  I’ve seen this hundreds of times.  From changing your fb handle to a name similar to your chosen celebrity, to choosing a boy/girl friend because they look like the person, it happens all over.  There are so many women on facebook who, coincidentally, are called Diesel and who happen also to be Vin Diesel fans, that it must be a very common name in every country and every culture on the planet.  Of course this seems silly, but it illustrates just how much power celebrities have.  I won’t go into how so many of them abuse that power, I’ve blogged on that very subject before, but this is another reason I still can’t get my head around Paul having died.

This also brings up the whole subject of relationships and how we communicate within them.  Paul’s death is a good example of why you should make an effort to let go of grudges, forgive your loved ones their flaws and show them you love them, every day.  You just don’t know how much longer you have with them, and it is so much easier to grieve when you know you showed them you loved them, than cope with the guilt at your angry words.

I hope the Walker family find strength and peace to move forward from their grief, and I send Paul love and healing to leave the trauma of his passing behind.

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God Save Me From Armchair Pop Psychologists

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I saw this on facebook today and was so incensed I just had to blog about it.  It was posted by Tyrese Gibson (the singer/actor?  The black guy from Fast and Furious?).  Tyrese has tried his hand at a few things in order to keep his name in the media, from acting, to singing and even co-authoring a book and the one thing that ties all these these three things together is that he’s lukewarm at all of them.  Never mind, that’s not the point of the blog.

Some time ago he co-authored a book that got a moment of public notice for a day or two.  I bought it and even read it and agreed with some of it.  It was meant to be a man’s eye view of relationships and how to get on in life generally and once you managed to drag yourself through the first half of the book, which was just a biopic of his own life, he and his co-author then gave vent to their own views on how we should all behave in order to better our lives in all sorts of ways.

Today Tyrese posted the above photograph on his facebook page and I was enraged enough to comment on it.

What he’s saying, in essence, is that sexy women are boring and boring in bed.  Whilst I cannot find a single reason to argue with this pearl of wisdom (we women have known this for centuries but men have never listened), it amazes me that he is preaching this stuff as his own opinion.

So if he believes sexy women are boring in bed, whey then has he never dated/married a plain dumpy frumpy woman huh?  He obviously believes that all of the sexy women he’s been seen with are all boring and boring in bed?  Does he have a current girlfriend/wife?  Does she know he finds her boring in bed?  If not then someone please tell her and let me see her reaction.

Perhaps he doesn’t find his current girlfriend/wife (if there is one) sexy at all?  Perhaps that’s why he’s with her, for her wonderful personality and interesting knowledge and experience.  Does she know he finds her unattractive?  If not, please inform her and let me see her reaction.

With the above statement, Mr Gibson is biting off his own balls without having the basic intelligence to realise the idiocy of the statement.  Either all his sexy women are boring, or all his interesting ones are ugly.  Which is it brah..?

Of course he could turn around and deny that this is his opinion at all, in which case why post such rubbish and put the title of his up-coming book on the bottom of it?  Seriously, does this guy even have a brain?

Tyrese, you’re a good looking dude.  Stick to looking pretty and leave the armchair pop psychology to those of us who actually understanding people huh?

In the Guise of Angels.

Y’know, those who hold themselves up as the greatest of inspirers, the most honourable of mentors, the biggest examples of the best humanity can offer, are usually the most deceitful, selfish and dishonest of people.

They trade on their image of wholesomness, beauty and wisdom and they preach tolerance, one love and celebration of diversity in all it’s beautiful forms and yet they scheme, manipulate and control when the cameras are switched off.

I find it sad that such a beautiful exterior hides such clever, subtle manipulation and that so many others who’s faces never see the spotlight are so eager to be dominated and controlled by such clever, beautiful evil. Just as the pied piper of Hamelin played his beautiful music and all the little rats danced to their deaths, so this new Messiah gives a word, a shy smile, a false acknowledgement of love and the hearts of half the world turn a shade darker. Behind the brightly glowing neon sign declaring peaceful and loving acceptance of all, they wait for prey to come like zombies driven by the need for blood. And come they do, in their millions. All driven by the same controlling force, the need for those beautiful eyes to rest upon their countenance for just a moment and as they open their hearts to receive the promised gifts of universal love and a celebration of their own unique beauty and skill, the dark mass of the beautiful one’s adherants prepares to dine on their flesh.

In the guise of angels, the darkest demons hide..!

Freedom From Self Imposed Slavery

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I finally realised something today that I should’ve realised ages ago.  Years ago in fact.  Oh well, better late then never huh?

The thing that brought this valuable but unsettling lesson is facebook, or rather the people in it.  Watching a certain behaviour and even participating in it for a while, and failing miserably (of course, it’s what I do best) has been at times angst ridden but educational.  There are a lot of well known people that hang out over on good old Eff Bee and they have many millions of fans between them, many of whom try to get ‘noticed’ by their particular chosen one.  Most of them fail but still they try, I admire their perseverance, and I was once one of them.  Now, maybe because I don’t have that perseverance I admire so much, I’ve realised that I don’t like how that particular merry go round makes me feel, so I’ve chosen to stop doing it.

Why do we need the acknowledgement of some relatively talentless but good looking famous person?  Why do we seek it so fervently?  Those are the questions that have plagued me for the past couple of years and it’s only recently I think I found answers that resonate comfortably.  It’s because we’re so overcrowded that few of us feel our voice is being heard.  We feel we’re drowning and we’re desperately crying out for a moment of attention.  It’s because we all want that moment of feeling we’ve reached a bit higher than the millions of others also drowning around us.  It’s because we hope their success will somehow rub off onto us thr0ugh their “hello” or smiley face.  It’s because we feel so unworthy of achieving success on our own merits.

Another question I want the answer to, is why does it take fame to make us feel successful?  What is this thing about fame these days?

Of course there are people who will say “I don’t seek fame at all,” and that’s wonderful but offer them fame and see if they turn it down..!

Will it make my life better if I get a “hello” or a smiley from a famous Eff Bee’er?  Will it fuck..!  I’ll still be the same ageing, unattractive, overweight and unsuccessful single writer I was before.  I’ll still be the same socially crippled and unlovable weirdo that most people try to avoid because they can’t ‘get their head around’ me and my autism.  The constant striving for a moment of attention from this or that celeb only serves to remind me how unsatisfying life really is, how life sucks cock big time.  I don’t want to be reminded of that all the time I fail to be noticed.  I don’t want it and I certainly don’t need it.  It will not serve me positively.

So I’ve taken the decision not to do it anymore.  I will still appreciate a person’s skills in their chosen field, but I will not seek their attention any more.  I’d rather be noticed for my own skills and appreciated for my creativity than because I got a smiley from a celeb on Eff Bee.

David The Hayemaker Haye and how he punched me in the face (virtually)

I used to be connected to David Haye’s facebook page.  I say used to be, because I’m not anymore.  I unliked his page this morning because something weird and strangely hilarious happened overnight that once again reinforces my somewhat sceptical view of the morals of most celebrities.

David recently brought out an iphone game app and he’s been spamming facebook with ads for it for a couple of weeks now.  I don’t have an iphone (I’m android) so I’ve not taken any interest and I have to admit that the amount of spam he’s been chucking out about it was becoming a tad annoying.  Anyway, a couple of days ago he posted a comment moaning about how few people seem to have downloaded his new game app and asking “why” we all hadn’t rushed to buy it (yes it’s a pay to download one, not free) and telling us that we should borrow an iphone from our friends or family so we can buy his new game.  Loads of people commented, and some of the comments were uncomplimentary about his new business/money making stance he seems to be taking since leaving the jungle.

I commented that as I don’t have an iphone, nor do I have a family and nor do I have friends who will loan me their iphone just so I can buy and play his new game app, I wasn’t interested.  I think I actually used the term “stick it.”  Not very ladylike I agree but it was extremely tame alongside some of the other comments I read (and laughed out loud at).

This morning I log onto facebook to find he’d banned me from commenting on his pics..!

I must admit I was amazed at that but then I laughed and am still giggling about it now (several hours later) and now I just think, what a self important asshole and how glad I am that I didn’t waste too much time being a fan.  Actually it was only the sight of his naked butt in the jungle that made me aware that he even existed as I hate boxing and think it should be banned, but I digress.  This is no loss to me at all and in fact it’s given me an interesting subject to blog about so I reckon I gained from this hilarious experience.

I often wonder whether it’s the money or the fame that turns what may have once been normal nice people into these self important megalomaniacs.  I then wonder if there is a cure.  I then realise I’m thankful I have the insight and self awareness not to ever become like that myself.

At the end of the day, I’ve been proved correct in my views on celebrities yet again.  I haven’t lost anything and my life will continue just as it always does.  He on the other hand, is famous and should be more aware that people talk to one another.  Word gets around and when you’re famous, you really shouldn’t piss off the folks you’re hoping are going to make you even richer.  He says he wants to become “an established actor” within 5 years.

That’s plenty of time for word to get around and bite him on his cute ass.

Open Letter to Male Actor

Dear Male Actor (insert name of choice here)

I have been inspired to write this letter by my experiences of being your fan and I think it’s way beyond time that someone pointed a few things out to you.  You can of course, ignore the following (and you probably will even if you do find yourself here and reading) but that fact doesn’t negate the pertinence of what follows.

As with most of your female fans, I first noticed you because of your looks and my first thought was “phwoar” or something along those lines.  Shallow of me I know but then again, you trade on your looks for the most part and your acting is of secondary importance so you cannot justifiably mark me down for it.

Due to the elevated position you hold, you wield a lot of power but you often misuse this power, either due to ignorance or evil intent.  Your fans often look to you as a role model and they will take your example when acting and interacting with others in their own lives.  Many fans will choose to ‘adopt’ similar views and opinions as you, as a way of trying to be like you in the vain hope that their life will take a similar path as yours.  If the influence you have is a positive one, then they will hopefully grow in a positive way but if your influence is negative (which it often is unfortunately) then you are helping to create a new generation of maladjusted miscreants without a single compassionate bone in their bodies.

The monotonous regularity with which you hop from one casual affair to the next, the very public sexual liaisons you fail to control, the public infidelity, the self degrading alcohol/drug addictions you indulge in, the violence you publicly display towards those you are supposed to love and/or those who never deserve it and the complete ignorance of the fact that your fans finance your privileged lifestyle make you a very bad influence on today’s younger generation.

In any other profession, any employee who behaved in ways similar to those displayed by you would be summarily dismissed but again, because of your unique position, you get away with it because you can.  Just because you can, doesn’t make it right that you should.

In an ideal world, you would be constantly aware of your power to influence the very maleable minds of your fans and you would wield that power with humility and compassion.  In an ideal world you would always remember how much you owe us who have made you rich and adored by millions and you would take more time to interact with us because you’d know you owe us at least a moment of your time.  We know there aren’t enough hours in the day to spend time with each one of us but you could make a little more time to allow us to ‘reach’ you somehow.  In today’s technological world it is easy for us to reach you, if you make it possible.  In an ideal world you would realise that what the world needs now is positive role models so that our younger generation can grow up to be dependable, compassionate family men who don’t cheat on their women with every available attention seeking whore who manages to crash the Hollywood parties you cannot live without attending.  In an ideal world you would encourage those who listen to you, to honour their bodies with healthy nutrition and sensible exercise without life threatening addictions so that they can live long and healthy lives.  In an ideal world you would treasure all your fans, even those who aren’t 20 years old, skinny and blonde and surgically enhanced.

But we don’t live in an ideal world and you will continue to abuse your position.  I will still say “phwoar” whenever I see you but I will know that whilst beautiful on the outside, you’re not beautiful at all on the inside.